But I still have 94 monkeys to go

This has been my attitude toward life lately. I’m not proud of it, but I am addressing it. 

For some reason I’ve been craving alone time a lot more lately. (Somewhat inconvenient for a city-dweller with roommates who works in an open office.) On Friday and Saturday I was away in Washington D.C. a trip that offered a nice balance of time with friends and time alone. (Well, “alone” surrounded by tourists, but as I was one of them, I wasn’t bothered.) I felt totally rejuvenated. Then I came home Saturday night, exhausted, to an apartment full of people (roommates’ friends) who stayed and were still there hanging out into last night. They’re cool people and I like them, but it was a lot for this introvert, and there’s no polite way to say “Hey, this has been fun but I’m going in my room now because I just can’t deal.”

There are a lot of reasons to want to go introvert, and I usually tend in that direction anyway. But I know it’s because I’m dissatisfied with my life and I need a change. I don’t really know what it is. Only, I recognize the symptoms, because I had them the last time I made a big change to my life, the one that got me here. I don’t really want to be alone; I just want to be going somewhere. I don’t want to be bogged down complaining about where I am; I want to get going to where I’m going. 

Two headlines jumped out at me today and pretty much sum all this up: “How To Become Open To Life” and “If You’re Just Going Through the Motions, You’re Wasting Your Time.”